ASSME, the American Society of Shitcanned Media Elites, is a collective of experienced writers and editors, designers, illustrators and random others, unmoored by the untimely death of print, who have banded together out of a shared belief in the future of journalism—not only reporting and opining, but eloquent riffing—and a heartfelt resolve to avoid law school at any cost.

If there’s to be an inferno, we wish to sing “Kumbaya” in its flickering light, and to gorge ourselves on the roasted marshmallows of inspiration. If it be a meltdown, we aim to glow bright green with eerie wisdom, to sprout new eyes in unusual places. If a deluge, we paddle out as far as we can, and then we surf.

We believe in the power of the written word, whatever the delivery system. We also believe in its value. We wish to write, to inform and to entertain, and to thereby attract readers. And advertisers.

And money.

When we get our mitts on this grubby lucre, we aim to share it among ourselves (each according to his page views), and thereby live to fight, and write, another day. We want to make it rain.

We believe there is strength in numbers, therefore we seek kindred spirits. Perhaps you? Wave your arms. Reach out. Let us see you. If you’re really one of us, we will know, and we will accept you and anoint you, grant you a username and a secret password, and set you free.

Yes, change is hard. We still miss the way things were, the fat contracts, the Town Cars. But the time for tears is past.

Now…now we blog.