Tiger Woods’s British Reps Really Don’t Want Those Naked Photos Published, Even Though They Don’t Exist

Tiger Woods Injunction 2009

The injunction preventing British tabloids from publishing any alleged naughty photos of Tiger Woods (sans knickers, for instance) has been published online. Some choice quotes from the document after the jump:

Dear Sirs

ELDRICK TONT (TIGER) WOODS V X & Y (PERSON OR PERSON UNKNOWN WHO HAVE TAKEN OR OBTAINED OR OFFERED FOR PUBLICATION PHOTOGRAPHS OF THE INTENDED CLAIMANT IN CIRCUMSTANCES DESCXRIBED IN THE CONFIDENTIAL SCHEDULE TO THIS ORDER…)

[...]

For the avoidance of doubt this Order is not to be taken as an admission that any such photographs exist and in the event that these photographs do exist, and it is not admitted, any such images may have been fabricated, altered, manipulated and or changed to create the false appearance and impression that they are nude photographs of our client. Our client is not aware of any images and in any event he would not have consented to any such photographs being taken nor would he have consented to the dissemination or exploitation of the same…

Ooooooookay. The document goes on to state that anyone who violates the order against publishing those non-existent photos that Tiger totally doesn’t know if any exist or anything like that “may be held to be in contempt of court and may be imprisoned, fined or have your assets seized.”

If, like you know, such photographs existed. Which of course, they don’t. As far as Tiger knows.