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YouTube – COS Plan for Organizations or Churches.
The video above features a bunch of pseudo-hipster looking folks and the voice of Bart Freaking Simpson, Nancy Cartwright, discussing the Church of Scientology’s plan for planting “ideal orgs” in communities. It’s spookier than a chimp in bondage gear. The entire project is referred to as a “crusade” and a ton of other religious buzzwords are sprinkled all over the video if you listen closely. Shit, you don’t even have to listen that closely, really. The huge number of Scientology specific buzzwords makes it clear that the 6 and a half minute video was intended for internal church use.
Some select spooky moments (you can watch it and pick your own, there are plenty to go around):
- Seth Rogen lite dude, whoever he is, at :45 or so, stating that ideal orgs “take the guesswork out of it, completely…”
- Generic hipster guy with Prince Valiant haircut at 1:25 stating “we’re making all orgs ideal by 2010.”
- Spooky-eyed red-haired chick at 1:45 talking about how “ideal orgs” start with “a perfect building at a perfect location [...] that we can all dig on.” Yes. She says “dig on.”
- Really crazy-eyed brown-haired woman at around 2:20 who declares, “THAT’S what’s gonna salvage this planet.”
And through it all, like an ostinato, Nancy Cartwright, looking a wee bit possessed, like the missing fourth witch from the cauldron scene in Macbeth, hovering in the weird black background the video editor chose just to enhance the deeply creepy nature of the thing, performing weird little Scientology incantations for all we know with her hands as she enthuses about her church’s PLAN TO TAKE OVER THE FUCKING EARTH. If this doesn’t make you consider buying a “V” mask and Rickrolling your nearest “Org” via boombox, I don’t know what will.
6 Comments
“Spooky-eyed red-haired chick” is actually Lynsey Bartilson. I had to look her up, but I recognized her as the daughter from “Grounded for Life,” and apparently she’s a scientologist too. Who knew! That Church really can get anyone a gig in Hollywood.
Thanks, Kyle. I only recognized Nancy Cartwright. Lynsey Bartilson probably doesn’t look that spooky-eyed in everyday life, is my bet.
I almost fell out of my chair when I saw that. It’s like they are oblivious to the idea that everything they produce will end up on the ‘net.
Wow these people are insane. Simply washed clean in the mind and then told that all of these fabulous things can happen. Oh well I don’t care if they put those orgs in every neighborhood it would force a debate and prove the ridiculous nature of Scientology. Maybe this will simply bring a swift end to its popularity. We can only hope.
Truly frightening, yet thankfully most people aren’t out-of-work actors who cling to freakshows like Scientology so they don’t feel like failures.
True story: My neighbor Wade stuck his toe in the Scientology cesspool back in 1972, mainly because he wanted to get into a girl’s pants that belonged to the “org”. He hung around for three months, and then quit when he couldn’t get anywhere with the girl. They tried to convince him to stay, but he wasn’t interested.
Fast-forward to May 2009. Some woman calls me three times in two days, crying and pleading for information about Wade. She left her phone number, and the next time I saw Wade I gave him her messages, and told him that it sounded like a concerned family member, and that I got the feeling that something terrible had happened. Well, Wade called her, and guess who it was: Some dimwit Scientologist recruiter who had found Wade’s name on the “used to be a member but got the fuck out while they could” list, and she pleaded for him to return.
These bozos will haunt you for life if you step your foot in the door for thirty seconds. Isn’t it ironic how “they” think that they’re the ones who are “clear”?
re “run into the old man ” comment – I thought that Doug Dohring (father of the actor Jason who is speaking) was a Scientologist too. (Wikipedia has a referenced link stating that Jason is a “second generation” Scientologist. So I don’t know that’s what he was getting at there – sound like he and his “old man” are in plenty good contact! LOL.